Mirrors, Mirrors... Wasn't my Best Friend!

Hello Divas!!!! And Divaettes (Divas-In-Training),

I am so sorry I have missed posting these past 2 weeks.     ~~I was on our HONEYMOON!!!!~~

Yayyy,  I was getting it in all kinds of ways (if you know what I mean). But Behold......... I had the nerve to but on a bathing suit, which I was excited about because my boobies looked so darn good in it. I put on the suit and turned to the mirror, and OHHH LAWWWD, I broke down in some tears, it was awful!

I couldn't believe I let myself gain this weight yet again, then all of these woulda coulda thoughts went through my mind. My husband came over to console me and that didn't work. All I kept thinking was it could be worse, it could be worse, I could of gained all the weight back that I lost.

See when I took a glimpse in the mirror, I saw an all too familiar person. A person that I swore I wouldn't be again. Heavy, stressed, burnt out, so critical, ungrateful and miserable. Life managed to be placed before ME, and that's a BIG NO NO!!!!

After a tear or two (ok, a whole pool of tears), I thanked the Lord that its not as bad as it could possibly be. I picked my head up and strike a pose in another mirror (LOL) and went on to have one of the greatest days of our vacation.
On our tour bus, my best friend who was unaware of my melt down, says "Do you know those mirrors that are in our cabin, is truly unflattering. I look HUGE!" (In her coca cola size 10 shape, that I could of strangled at that moment.) I looked back at my husband, my husband winked at me, and I was like ooohhh so it wasn't all me in that mirror this morning during my emotional burst of cries, someone else witnessed the same thing.

So I came to some conclusions:
Conclusion #1- NO cruise cabins should have full length mirrors especially when they know that all that damn food is around.
Conclusion #2- When we look into the mirror, our first reaction should be to smile not cry, but when I did I VOWED at the moment, when I returned home, to get back into the healthy groove that led to my first 100 pound weight loss and to love me Unconditionally, because no one else will ever love me like I do! ( I have lost 5 pounds so far.)
Conclusion #3- I view tears as prayers, and even though at that moment, I felt a little defeated, I think it was my own special moment with God, to know that what I was feeling was not who I truly am and what I promised I tend to keep.
It should always be God first, then yourself, then your family, businesses or work, then everything else. If I can't put God first, how will he put me first. If I don't love me I will I expect my husband to love me?

Now when I look into the mirror, I see my GLOW, I see BEAUTY, I see DETERMINATION, I see GRATEFULNESS, I see ME!

So Diva's I ask you, what do you see when you look into the mirror? Also from a man's perspective and a solider's outlook please visit www.mnmlostsoldier.com to order a great book The Man in the Mirror: Lost Soldier.

My Hubby and I!!!

Great Book!!!

Fears??

Heyyyy Divas,

It's been a while. I truly apologize, its been over a month and mentally I have been all over the place and so has my weight.

I have not gained or lost any but my fear of not completing a goal or task for myself is unbearable.

As I sat and wrote this message for Afrodeezha, my fingers couldn't stop typing but I realized what I said is the truth, and I understand why I didn't met that 30lbs goal I sat for myself, because... simply put, I just wasn't ready. Please continue to read below.

Heyyyy Afrodeezha!!


Thank you for joining us.

I have been on such a high emotional roll coaster myself that I have been praying to get off of it and fast. With emotions high, we tend to eat things we are not suppose to. But wait here's the kicker we know we are not suppose to, so now we feel guilty and often times even cry.

I have learned that we are very critical human beings, when you tend to carry extra weight. We become so harder on ourselves than the size 2 chick standing in GAP trying on some jeans.

I believe before we can truly commit to a life style change of being healthy and thin, we first need to examine our emotional triggers. What makes us do what we do? Why do we feel the "need" to stray when we become bored or angry?

And Afrodeezha trust me, this part isn't easy. I am in this transition stage of my life, and I am re-examining everyone and everything. I am doing things for ME and not for anyone else. I am rediscovering this new person, and whether I have support or not, I know its something that needs to be done. If not..... I am on the road to gaining all 100 lbs I lost and my heart and soul WILL NOT be able to handle that.

I have an acronym for the word FAT- Its Feeling Absent Tremendously!!!

Please Listen to me, whether you are a size 6 or 26 you are BEAUTIFUL in your own right. We tend to become absent sometimes emotionally and spiritually and food takes it place (thats why we feel FAT or call ourselves FAT). So Hold your head high because someone didn't wake up this morning. Someone lost a leg, and can't workout at all. Or in memory of my Uncle that died of stomach cancer, whom couldn't eat a single thing for at least 2 years. So imagine that fried chicken we love so much, imagine smelling it but not able to eat it that was him. (R.I.P. Uncle JB. We love U!) Basically there are people that are a lot worst off then we are. We hold, Faith, strength, ambition, determination, and the WILL to live our lives as it is meant to be.

We may not be where we want to be yet for our ideal size and weight, but we have the WILL to make it happen. We just have to put in the work; mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. Once these paths are align our journey and quest will fall into place. TRUST ME! You are not ALONE!


~~Two Snaps~~